


like lightening

by anastronomicalsmile



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Communication Failure, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, HOW UNRELATABLE, Hurt/Comfort, Love is hard, M/M, Trust Issues, when you're not emotionally available
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-16 05:27:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13047417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastronomicalsmile/pseuds/anastronomicalsmile
Summary: 5 times that taako bolts





	1. too much too much

It’s been a bad day.  That’s fair enough to say.  Kravitz takes his time, removing his feathered cloak, putting his scythe down, and setting at his desk to file the last of the days’ work.  Today has been exhausting, more clean up after the apocalypse that almost was, but at least he gets to see Taako tonight.  It’s been about a week since they’ve seen each other, which isn’t that long for Kravitz, but he feels giddy like a kid walking to the ice cream place. He paces himself, and his excitement.  He is certain to file everything just so and have everything in its perfect place before picking up his Stone of Farspeech and tuning it to Taako’s frequency. 

            “Taako?”  He calls into the stone, and waits for a response.  He throws his cloak around his shoulders and files away a few more things that he had stacked on his desk to let off the energy.  And turns back to his stone. 

And waits.

And waits.

And.

Huh.

            “Taako, dear?  Are you there?”  Kravitz calls into the stone again, checking the frequency.  Yes, that’s the right one.  There is a pang of—maybe worry is too strong a word.  Just curiosity.  A tinge of concern.  When they spoke last, yesterday, they had scheduled to get dinner at 8:00 PM Neverwinter time.  Being across time zones and planar systems meant sometimes they got a little tied up but.  Kravitz tore a portal to the planet and checked in at a convenience store.  7:55.  Hmm.  Maybe it’s strange that Taako didn’t pick up his stone, but Kravitz knows that he’s working himself into a tizzy over nothing.  He wanders down the street, eyeing the storefronts, some of them closing down for the evening, others just picking up business.  Time is such a funny thing on this plane. He hoped to find Taako at the restaurant already, but no luck.  Okay.  No use worrying, sometimes Taako is late for things, and it’s—it’s annoying.  Yeah.  But it’s not because—no Kravitz.  Don’t have this conversation with yourself again.  Kravitz straightens himself out.  Gets their table.  Gets a bottle of wine.  And sips.  And sips.  His toes restless in his boots, but otherwise very focused on remaining calm. 

            He is taking a long sip of his wine when Taako burst in, barely ten minutes late.  Kravitz is so excited to see him that it took a moment to clock the kind of restless energy pouring out of him.

            “Hi baby, I’m so sorry I’m late.”

            “It’s okay, I just uh—I tried to call you earlier.  Like 15 minutes ago or so?” 

            “Sorry, I was---tied up.”  Taako is quick to take a sip of wine and immediately launch into a story about this new recipe he was working on.  That is easy.  Amounts of things and steps to follow and then you have a meal.  Kravitz is enraptured, if not by Taako’s words, then by Taako himself.  So when he does, make eye contact, however briefly, it was so much _adoration_ and _attention_ , and he instead focuses on his forehead or his cheek or just not his full, shining, loving eyes.  Because that is too much.  Kravitz carries on listening to Taako’s ramblings about his day, throwing in a good deal of color commentary.  He nods and interjects in agreement and laughs with him, and it gets so _easy._   Kravitz is engaged, even if he stumbles over his words or trips over gaps in his memory of it. 

            “Your turn, please.” Taako gestures to him, and Kravitz is caught a little off guard.  His brain was maybe.  Lagging a. Little bit today.  He explains:

            “Nothing out of the ordinary for apocalypse clean up.  It was very long. Pretty exhausting.  I had tea with one of the Queen’s advisors, it was, very strange.  But, when you meet Lorina, you’ll understand.”

            “Oh, do I get to meet the full court?  Is there gonna be a reaper candlenights party I’m invited to?”  

            “Maybe, if Barry wants to organize it.  He’s very….”  Kravitz trailed off, searching for the right word. 

            “He’s a lot, I know.”  Taako takes a drink of his wine.  “That extra ass bitch, I love him so much.”  That had Kravitz cracking with laughter, the last of his anxiety burning away. 

            The rest of the dinner is so…easy.  Natural, like sleeping.  The conversation is light, and it’s easy, they finish their bottle of wine, and Kravitz orders another for them. Taako is loose and animated, and Kravitz is warm and dopey, the way he is with Taako.  At one point while they wait for dessert (molten fudge cake, of course) Kravitz just has this look that you picture in fantasy romance novels like ‘I would bang you over this table if you asked me you have completed fucked me up with that good loving feeling,’ and that’s a lot for Taako when he catches Kravitz’s eyes and he softens even more. 

            “You look like you’re stoned out of your fucking mind, my guy,” Taako prodded at him, but he knew that his face is starting to sport a similar dopey look himself.  A voice in the back of his mind tells him to cast a glamour so he could maintain his disaffected look but he chased the thought away with a gulp of water. 

            “You have that kind of effect on me.”  Kravitz’s reply is quiet and nervous and simple, and it kind of wipes Taako out.  The evening carries on, with conversations about their friends, and maybe plans for next week.  Kravitz wanted to take him to this show that was opening next weekend, one of his favorites.  He wants to share it with Taako. 

            “Yeah, of course I’ll come see it with you!”  Taako says, exclaiming in tone but not volume.  “That sounds fucking sick, my man.”  Kravitz beams, delighted with Taako’s enthusiasm.  With his everything. 

            He walks Taako out of the restaurant, and they carry on their chatting around the streets of Neverwinter.   At some point, Kravitz is holding Taako’s hand as he walks. And. It’s nice.  Sure, his hand is chilly but it’s warmed up to something bearable in the time he’s spent on the plane of the living this evening.  At one point, a silence settles between them, but. It’s nice.  Completely bearable.  A little romantic, even.  They wander until they loop back around the the apartment Taako has been renting with Lup and Barry since he moved out of the moon base, pretty much once he woke up after the Day of Story and Song.  It’s not terribly large, Taako doesn’t know what he’d do with all that space except hoard more crap, but they’re planning on each getting their own places.  Next door to each other, and that’s the tricky thing with house hunting for them.  Taako stops to say his goodbye.  With a fluid motion, he turns and pulls Kravitz in for his good night kiss.  Taako’s lips are warm against Kravitz’s, and they pull closer into each other, turning heads, arms coming into bodies, smiles growing. 

Kravitz breaks away to let Taako breath properly, and looks down, all the way through the earth. And his gaze turns back up to him, and Kravitz takes Taako’s hand in his, just to hold it.  _What the fuck_.  _Who does shit like this._ Kravitz puts a gentle kiss onto his forehead, and it was more tender than anything else he had done so far, and it is. _So much_.  _Too much._ And then he says, simply: “I’m really glad I got to see you tonight.” And Taako melts a little at the touch, at the calm affection in his voice.  He means it.  Everyone lies all the time, and takes.  But Kravitz doesn’t.  And he doesn’t even! The fucker doesn’t even ask for anything! 

            “I know you don’t like the Astral Plane much, but uh, I did get a fireplace to warm my place up if you’d like to uhm, come over.”  And half way through the question Taako is already a million miles away.  And Kravitz can see it, and his face falls.  And there it is.  “But—uh, maybe sometime later, if tonight-uh-isn’t good.”  Taako nods, and smiles, and Kravitz is at ease again.  Taako places his hands on the lapels of Kravitz’s jacket, smoothing them out and looking up at him through hooded eyes.  In the longest two seconds ever, they had pulled each other into another kiss, deepening with a turn of Taako’s head.  Then there’s tongue, and a little teeth, and pressing into each other.  Very easy to be sexy, very hard to be intimate. 

            “Call me, yeah?  We’ll do this again sometime.” Taako says when he breaks the kiss, and waits for Kravitz to catch himself.  He’s still winded, and only nods, while a smile spreads across his face like syrup. 

            “Of course.  Soon?”

            “What’re you doing Friday?” Kravitz asks.  Taako glances down, biting the inside of his mouth. 

            “I’ll let you know, k?”  And he’s looking at Taako with that bright, wide-eyed, adoration that sits in the pit of his stomach like a lump of molasses.  And gods, he hopes that one day that’s a good thing. 


	2. drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako overestimates his tolerance and Kravitz tries to take care of him.

The next time, Taako is already there, in more than one sense of the word.  He’s holding his third drink, already halfway done when Kravitz finds him at the bar.

            “Hello dear, I’m sorry I’m late, I swear I tried to get here right at nine.”  Kravitz says genuinely, because of course he does.  He would.  The fucker. 

A quick overview of the last hour or so. Taako calls Kravitz to ask if he’s free, he is, and says he’ll meet him at a bar by Taako’s place in one hour.  Great!  Fantastic!  Taako loves to see his man, and hates having a lot of time between knowing he’s doing something and doing it.  Taako liked going out in Neverwinter by his apartment because then he could go home whenever he wanted to, and usually Lup and/or Barry would be there, to help him come down from whatever emotion he was on.  Lately, it had been a kick of anger, or frustration.  More accurately?  Loneliness, maybe.  Who asked you?  Fuck you.  

Following confirmation, Taako has a glass of wine at home while he picked out his outfit for the evening, something classic.  A blue top with a wide flowy skirt.  Dress it up with a sparkling galaxy sweater and shimmering eyeshadow to match.  With twenty minutes to go, Taako takes the long way around to the bar, strolling about the neighborhood before landing at the bar at about five till.  Just after the hour, his Stone of Farspeech comes to life in his palm, and he turns it over and over, considering taking it, and it stops ringing by the time Taako has a coherent thought about it.  His wine glass is refilled like the anxiety and anger pooling inside him. 

“I called, did you get my—“

“Yeah, I--,” Taako starts, waiting for the clever retort to follow naturally, like it always does.  But not this time.  “I’m sorry, I was—“ Taako’s thought was lost down another spiral.  Why hadn’t he answered the phone?  He knew it was Kravitz.  Calling to say he was running late.  Or that he wasn’t coming.  That he had to cancel.  This isn’t going to happen.  That he’d never see him again. 

“Can I get a gin and tonic and an ice water please?”  Kravitz asks the bartender, and his voice brings Taako back into the present.  His hand tightens around his glass, nails digging into his palms around the stem.  He raises his hand to take another sip of the wine and then there’s no more wine.  Whoops.  He motions for another, and starts into Kravitz, telling him about his day.  It’s not too long until he’s talking in circles, losing himself halfway into a thought, and yawning at the top of each sentence.  And then it becomes clear that Kravitz isn’t listening as much as he’s watching Taako.  So he stops, and whips up a clever quip, something to get Kravitz to listen to him, c’mon dude.  Taako’s very interesting over here.  But it’s still halfway up his throat when Kravitz asks:

“Love, what’s the last time you ate?” And Taako is suddenly very self-conscious.  That’s a question you ask a child, or a drunk bitch throwing up in the bathroom.  Is Taako a drunk bitch right now?  Shit. 

“I’m good, I had--”  Kravitz pushes the glass of water the bartender brought towards Taako, and he takes it in his hand.  “I ate today.”  Taako’s voice is very small right there, and he’s not sure if he’s lying.  He looks at Kravitz, whose playful concern morphs into something deeper than that, something harder to shake off.  Shit. 

“Do you want me to take you home?”  Kravitz asks, gentle.  There’s a hand on his elbow—it’s Kravitz, reaching out to him.  “If you want to reschedule or take a rain check…”

“No, I’m fine, I just—“ He takes a big gulp of the water, which _hurts._   And it’s fizzy.  And.  It’s Kravitz’s gin and tonic.  Whoops.  Taako very deliberately switches the identical glass by Kravitz and takes a generous sip.  Which also hurts and is also fizzy.  Whoops. 

“That was a lot more alcohol than I was planning on.”  Taako says, “But hey, two for one drinks.”  Taako is struck by a dizziness very suddenly, and rests his forehead in the palm of his hand.  Kravitz calls for a few pieces of bread, which Taako dutifully chomps at while trying to have just one fucking coherent thought.  Sweet ladies above, what the fuck.  Have one coherent thought. 

“Why don’t you finish up the bread, and I’ll get you home, okay?”  Kravitz offers. 

“No, I wanted to, I wanted to talk to you.”  That shoots through Kravitz like a bolt of ice. 

“Uh, um, we can.  We can talk tonight if you want to.  I just want to make sure you get home safe.” He has pulled away from Taako enough to give him space, but close enough to swoop in if he falters again.  When.  He’s kind of inevitable like that. 

“It’s nothing—it’s not—it’s.”  Taako keeps starting a sentence but the rest of it won’t come from his brain to his mouth.  He chews through another piece of bread, and Kravitz waits, taking a drink from one of his glasses.  His eyes are averted, he’s not looking too close or too hard or too long at Taako.  “No, it’s nothing.  Like.  I just wanted to catch up.  Hear about your day.  I like hearing about your day.”  _Where the fuck did that come from?_   But Taako didn’t have time to chastise himself, while he watches Kravitz soften and reconnect with him, his eyes more full and shining again.  Like they were last time.  Ah shit.

“How about I walk you home, and we can catch up while I make you some dinner, or order something out.  Okay?”  Taako nods, agreeing.  To take Kravitz to his home, but not to have sex?  Well, maybe sex if dinner is really good.  And suddenly Taako is outside, with Kravitz’s cloak around him, and it’s very soft, and it’s very nice.  And it smells like him.  Ah man, he’s really fucked up about this dude, isn’t he?  He stumbles quietly with Kravitz back to his place, with arms looped around each other, Taako leaning on him. And there’s a part of Taako that hates how warm it is, how much he leans into the warmth of Kravitz holding him, even though he’s cooler than Taako is. 

And suddenly they’re at Taako’s door, and Taako has a key in hand, and is struggling to push the key into the slot.  Kravitz helps him, and twists the key into the door. 

“Are Lup and Barry home?”

“Hmm?  No, no.  Barold and Lup.  Are.  They.  They’re picking stuff up from the cave!  And not doing any necromancy they swear.”

“Well, that’s a comfort then.”  Kravitz says in a joking monotone that passes in one ear and out the other.  “Do you want me to make you something?  Or I can go pick something up.”

“I’m not hungry.”  He murmurs into the pillow curled up in his arms.  He’s slung himself over the couch very dramatically but it’s very comfortable so excuse him if he wants to stretch out a bit. 

“I know I’m not a very good chef, but I will get together something edible for you.”  Kravitz says with a kiss pressed into the top of taako’s head.  “How about a tomato melt?  I can make that without burning your house down.”  Taako giggles at the joke, and Kravitz lightens.  Kravitz reaches out and Kravitz is right there.  And he pulls him in for a kiss and Kravitz is right there with him, a gentle hand sliding down his jaw and neck.  And his fingers curl just enough to.  _Fuck_.  Dinner whom?  Kravitz, table for Taako. 

            So when Kravitz is pulling away, Taako is putting on an excellent and very kissable pout.

“Let me get you some water, okay?”  And then Kravitz is off to the kitchen, and back by the time Taako is sitting up.  “No alcohol in it this time, I swear.”  He holds it out for Taako, who takes it in his hands and drinks. 

            “I’m fine, you don’t have to—I can make something for myself.  And you can just hang out in the kitchen and tell me about your day.”  Kravitz complies, letting Taako come into the kitchen and sitting him down at a bar stool with a second glass of water.  Taako tells him where to find all the ingredients: bread, butter, cheese, tomatoes, salt and pepper.  Kravitz walks through the steps that Taako had shown him last time that Kravitz got plastered and needed to eat something before they got into it.  Wait, is this after school snack that he would serve Angus turning into an aphrodisiac?  Who is he kidding, everything Taako makes is an aphrodisiac. 

            By the time Taako is at the end of that thought, he has finished his glass of water, and Kravitz has set a plate with a very sexy sandwich on it in front of him.  Kravitz grabs him another glass of water and puts a kiss on his forehead before moving to clean up after himself.  Taako is up the moment he turns away.

“No, no, don’t worry about it.  I’ll deal with it later.”  Which gets a chuckle out of Kravitz.  “Whatever, Barry will deal with it later, he has two live-in chefs he can wash a pan.”  Kravitz obliges, sitting down with Taako and eating his own half-sandwich, that he made for himself.  Taako is mostly through the sandwich when he speaks up, with a mouthful of cheese and tomato: 

“This wa’ shitty.”

“I know I’m not that great at this, I just--”  Kravitz starts, already defensive.

“No, no.  This is lit as fuck, dude.”  Taako interrupts before he can spiral. 

“What are you referring to, then?”  Kravitz turns to him to listen.

“I did a shitty thing.  I drank too much even though I knew this would happen!”

“What would happen?”

“That I would get drunk and then—“  Taako gestures, as if to indicate everything that happened that evening.  Which, in fairness to Taako, wasn’t even that much. 

“Is there a reason that you drank so much?”

“Feelings are hard.” Taako looks down at his shirt.  Fuck, he looked so good and then he went and got schwasty. “And, I’m no good at them.  I’m great at a lot of things! But.  I’m not good at a lot of things too, but.  Feelings?  Which! Is garbage. Because I get so many.”

“That is garbage.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Is it about all your feelings?”  Taako nods in assent.  “Please do.”

“You give me a lot of feelings.  And a lot of them are good, and warm, like this sandwich,” he punctuates the thought with another bite, “and some of them—aren’t bad, but they’re not good.  They’re up in the air.  I don’t know.  It’s so much.”

“We’re not in any sort of rush, you can just take your time with it.  You can talk it through with me, if you want to.”

“You’re so nice.  What the fuck.”

“I’m glad you think so, that’s what I’ve been going for.”  Taako laughed, and Kravitz could feel it bringing the temperature up in the room. 

“I’m sorry.”  Taako says, breaking a spell of quiet. 

“What?  What are you sorry for?”

“I ruined the date.  We were gonna have a fun date.” 

“You didn’t ruin it, no.”  Kravitz says seriously, kindly. 

 “You’re a shitty liar.”

“I’m not lying, Taako.”  He was still serious, and.  Sterner, but softer.  Hurt.  “If something’s bothering you or upsetting you then I care so much more about addressing that than one night we’re going to spend going out to some bar.”  Taako doesn’t even have the beginning of a retort to that.  Maybe because that’s not the kind of thing to be retorted to. 

 “It’s a good bar.”

“We’ll have to give it another shot then, won’t we?  Maybe next week, before the show.”

“Maybe next week, yeah.”  Taako stands up, and Kravitz follows suit, one arm extended toward him.  Taako takes his hand and tugs him closer, and then into a kiss. 

“Thanks for hanging out with your dumb, drunk boyfriend.”

“Thank you for eating the sandwich I burned for you.”  Kravitz teases back.

“It was a solid four-out-of-ten.”  Taako sways a bit as he says it.

“An improvement then.”  Another kiss.  Taako turns down the hall, to the closest room from the kitchen: his bedroom.  Their hands fall away from each other when Kravitz lets go.  Taako turns around to pout, and then remembers.  And thinks better.  And just smiles. 

 “Do you want me to stay?”  Kravitz asks, as Taako pulls himself away, leaning on the wall by his door.  His hand is still half-extended, for Taako to take if he wants to.  He looks down, really intently focusing on something very interesting on the ground. 

“I wish you could.”

“I can stay, Taako.  I might get called away sometime after dawn, but I can see you through the night at least.”

“You’re so conderate!  Consderte! Considerate!”  Taako tries a few times before he said the right word.  “How’d I get so damn lucky to end up with you?”  And that was genuine.  There was something else there he couldn’t name.   

“You’re pretty great too, you know.”  Kravitz steps forward, and Taako pulls him into another good night kiss that turn into a great evening make out, complete with Taako’s leg hitching up onto his hip.  He’s pulling Kravitz against him, and pressing his back against the wall. 

“I should go.”  Kravitz offers, totally noncommittal.  Because Taako has started nibbling at his ear and sucking at his neck and holding Kravitz close and he’s so hot and so warm.  Which makes pulling away so hard.  “Darling, I do— _oh_ —I do appreciate how affectionate you are, but you’re also still a little bit drunk.”

“And?”  Taako asks against his neck.  His breath is warm and full of alcohol but he’s right there and Kravitz loves this closeness, this warmth.  It’s not love, not yet.  But it could be. 

“I don’t want to have sex tonight, Taako.”  Kravitz says. Taako stays close, but stills, gears turning in his head.  “I’m sorry—“ he starts before Taako stops him.

“No, no don’t—don’t worry about it.  I just miss having you inside me.”  Taako says it very flatly, but mischievous.  But something. But still.  There’s something behind it all.  “If you’re not staying, can I walk you out?”  And Kravitz nods, and Taako takes him to the door.  It’s a formality really, because as soon as Kravitz is out the door, he tears a rift into his own home. 

And each of them, in their own homes make themselves a cup of tea, and sit on their couches, and wish they weren’t sitting alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! your comments and kudos are always appreciated
> 
> @ me with prompts @balancebeans on tumblr, or my main is @anastronomicalsmile


	3. further

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Taako, feelings and sex is effectively Fantasy mentos and Diet Coke.

The come down is so nice.The closeness, right here, with his cock still sore from it, tasting himself on Taako’s mouth.It filled Kravitz up in a way he really needed; he relishes in the satisfaction of it all.He holds Taako on top of him, one hand on his hip, the other combed through the back of his hair.The quiet between them is nice, which always surprises Kravitz.Taako is usually so boisterous and performative, so these quiet moments with him are really…beautiful. 

It’s a Sunday afternoon and they’re lounging—Kravitz called this time, to see if Taako wanted to spend the afternoon together, which quickly devolved from chaste kisses and Kravitz nodding along as Taako explained a plan for a magical academy to clothes discarded on the floor, gripping at each other and moaning into skin, until Taako takes Kravitz’s cock in his mouth, and all bets were off. _Fuck_ , that elf knew what to do with Kravitz’s dick.Just thinking back on the last twenty minutes has Kravitz making the dopiest, in-loviest face you could imagine. 

It was a pretty romantic, domestic image: Taako and Kravitz sprawled together over the bed, blankets rumpled and warm from use.Kravitz has one hand brushing through Taako’s hair.Memories of gentle kisses across each other’s skin, of Taako’s firm hands pressing Kravitz into the mattress, of the choked moans as they moved into each other.It was pretty slow, for them, but for something to get hearts racing in the middle of the day on Sunday, it was exactly what they both needed.Kravitz kisses the top of Taako’s head at the thought of it.He shifts against Kravitz, half-asleep.

“How are you doing down there dear?” 

“Chilly.You’re chilly.”

“Let me get you some more blankets—“

“No, it’s good, it’s too hot out.”He turns his face into his chest, nose squishing down, muddling what he says next, “This is nice.”Kravitz let the soft weight of him settle and calm him.Just in time for something to tug in the back of his chest.It tightened and coiled like a cool hand pulling him through the bed and back to work.Dread filled him, and he couldn’t help the exasperated sigh that fell out of his mouth. He quickly apologizes, which Taako shooes away by readjusting closer to him. 

“You have to go soon, don’t you.”It’s not a question.Kravitz looks down at Taako, curled half against his side, half on top of him.He’s not clinging but he’s so close and fighting this tugging behind his chest is the magnetic pull that Taako has with him.He can’t see his face, but he can guess what look he’s wearing. 

“Not for at least another hour or so.But, I won’t be officially called until I’m needed.”There’s a long quiet before Taako nods and pulls himself a little bit closer and tighter. Kravitz follows suit, wrapping an arm as far around him as his arms will reach. He is careful to be very gentle and deliberate, and sends quiet prayers to his patron goddess that he can stay until nightfall. There’s no affirmative response but the tugging is dull and quiet, falling away a bit: present but barely. 

But that doesn’t matter much, because Taako picks himself off of Kravitz and rubs a hand across his numb face. Kravitz sits upwith him. 

“Is something wrong, Taako?” Kravitz asks as he watches Taako stand and look around the room, like it will hold the answer for him. 

“No I’m—-“. Taako is silent for a long time before perching on the edge of his desk. “Naw, dude it’s all g. Just uh. Thinking. I do that from time to time.”Kravitz hums to acknowledge it and sheds the blankets from himself, and remains on the bed.He watches Taako, concern bubbling in him, but remains where he is: in the bed, as Taako left him.Kravitz wants to ask, wants to know and understand but he knows that Taako will freak and usher him away.And Kravitz wants to be patient about this, and give Taako space.But it still hurts. 

“I’m gonna—get—something.” Kravitz only nods in response, and Taako only catches a flash of it before turning to leave the room. Kravitz sits in the quiet, feeling like a stranger in someone else’s bed. The sensation of it washes over him like a wave tugging sand from the beach under its current. He lays back and tries to breathe through it, move through it. He’d forgotten, in his years of service, disentangled from mortal concerns, how much falling in love hurts. Maybe it shouldn’t be this bad, but the two of them are nothing if not extraordinary together. And that means the highs are fantastic. And the lows are terrible. Kravitz just didn’t understand why this afternoon was suddenly so low. 

Taako returned before he could figure it out. His face is—different. Lighter and smoother and glamoured over. He had a glass of water, and one for Kravitz as well. He sets it by the bed and sits at his desk, feet tucked under him while he sips. Kravitz follows suit, averting his eyes for what feels like a very private moment for his boyfriend. He gives Taako a good spell of quiet before he breaks it. 

“Is something the matter, love?” 

“No, no, no.”Taako lies immediately, tucking hair behind his ear and drinking his water.A piercing quiet settles between them.Kravitz relents.

“Taako, I know that you’re having a difficult time adjusting to your life like this.Post-apocalypse, and all that. And I—I don’t want to sound preachy or authoritative.I just want you to know that I care about you and, I’m sticking with you through this. I want to be there for you however you need me.”Taako could only nod in acknowledgement, before it turned sour on his skin. 

“I’m a big boy, you don’t need to babysit me, or whatever, my guy.”Taako said it, but uncertainly sat on top of his voice, like a layer of grime over a pond.And Kravitz just looked at him, half hurt, half concern.And something else?Love? Ah, fuck.“I don’t—“He cuts himself off.Kravitz waits for him to finish, with a practiced patience, and that is just about enough of this emotional bullshit.But before Taako can turn to cruelty, to shoving everyone away with a ten foot pole, Kravitz puts a hand to his chest, and listens to an unhearable message.His face falls stern, and then softens when he looks to Taako.Duty calls.Kravitz stands to get back into his work clothes. 

“You have to go.”

“I’m sorry, Taako.”He looks Taako in the eye and says it all sincere and remorseful and _fuck._ “I’m not sure when I’ll be done, but I’ll call you once I can.”Taako combs a nail through his eyebrow and looks at the very interesting ceiling. 

“Don’t worry about it, bones.It’s all cool.I’ll just—I’ll.We’ll catch up later.” 

Kravitz swings his cloak over his shoulders, and looks to him. 

“Can I kiss you?”

“I had your dick in my mouth like half an hour ago.”Taako rolls his eyes, but he’s still got the affection layered into the gentle jab. 

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Kravitz jabs back, gooey.Taako’s silence is interrupted by another tug in the back of Kravitz’s chest, more insistent this time.

“Knock yourself out, dude.”Kravitz approaches him swiftly, and rubs a hand on the back of his shoulder, cool.But his lips don’t come down to Taako’s, or even to the top of his head.Just this quiet affirmation that leaves Taako hollow when he pulls his hand away.

“I wish I could stay.”Taako just nods to acknowledge it, but his response doesn’t come in time: Kravitz is already gone through his tear in reality. 

"I wish you could too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your feedback! i really appreciate it!! as always, constructive criticism and kudos are loved and welcome!
> 
> im on tumblr @balancebeans or @anastronomicalsmile

**Author's Note:**

> baby's first 5-1 fic! you'll have to stick around for #6 to see how it goes! (please read through #6 they're coming it's already half written)


End file.
